This site is dedicated to humor
. . .
in print, in art, the miracle cure, the balm of life, the essential quality of the human spirit.
. . .
Laughing really does Matter
and so does Ink!
Please enjoy your visit, and give us your feedback. How has humor played a role in your life?
Read more of Marjorie's work at:
Digital Journal
and
Helium
One of our favorite collections:
We call this page
Illuminati Literati
Visit the
Anecdotal Corner
Have a good laugh, and click on feedback, if you have a story to share.
WACKO!!
Don't Drink and Fly!!!
Click on small image for enlargement
For humorous articles backed by reliable research, you'll want to visit these sites created by author, Marjorie Dorfman:
Choose your topic, click on the image and have fun!
Dont Tech Me In
Eat, Drink and Really Be Merry
Home Is Where the Dirt Is
Middle Age and Other Mistakes
Pop Goes the Culture
What's New, Emu?
I Was Absent
Copyright © 2003-2007.
All rights reserved.
|
|
|
Bookmark us and come back for another laugh when you need it.
|
Prizewinning Bits of Wit
There are two things that are important in politics. The first is money, and I can't remember what the second one is.
Mark Hanna, Ohio Republican, 1895
What we want is a story that starts with an eathquake and works its way up to a climax.
Sam Goldwyn
After eight thousand unsuccessful experiments on a nickel-iron storage battery:
Well, at least we know eight thousand things that won't work.
Thomas Alva Edison
I'm glad the old masters are all dead, and I only wish they had died sooner.
Mark Twain
He had the sort of face that, once seen, is never remembered.
Oscar Wilde
Bachelor: A man who comes to work each morning from a different direction.
Sholem Aleichem
I got all the schooling any actress needs, that is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts.
Hermione Gingold
Long experience has taught me that in England nobody goes to the theatre unless he or she has bronchitis.
James Agate
He is so mean, he won't let his little baby have more than one measle at a time.
Eugene Field
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Jackie Mason
and . . . some more new definitions:
Bred: One brought up with a good attitude towards grains.
Butt: A conditional rear-end.
Catastrophe: When a cat displays good grammar.
Lexpionage: The sleuthing of new words and phrases.
Check the archive of past Bits of Wit
|
|
|
Sunday In The Park: My First And Last Date with Harold Percy Bagelman
by Marjorie Dorfman
In honor of St. Valentine’s Day, consider this tale of a first date from hell. Don’t blame me if you don’t find it fun, for I who lived the experience, didn’t either! Read on, if you dare.
Guess Who’s Not Coming To Dinner? A Harried Look at Holidays and Relatives
by Marjorie Dorfman
Do you believe it's almost that time of year again? Just when you thought you forgot about all that special tension and stress the holidays can bring, there they are, right smack in your face. Read on for one way to cope with them, albeit with a laugh or two in the process.
 How (Not) to Carve a Pumpkin: Some Halloween Words To The Wise
by Marjorie Dorfman
It is said there is a right and a wrong way to carve a pumpkin. Tried and true methods have come down to us through the ages but innovative mistakes seem to crop up every year. Read on and learn what to avoid this time; that is, if you dare!
Firecrackers and the Fourth of July: However Did It Happen?
by Marjorie Dorfman
Who invented fireworks? What connection do they have with Marco Polo, the fourth of July and other exploding people and places?
Father’s Day: How Did It All Begin?
by Marjorie Dorfman
Where would all of us be without our fathers? How did honoring their place in our lives begin? Read on for some answers and possibly, a new respect for the issue.
Memorial Day: How Did It Come To Be?
by Marjorie Dorfman
How did the tradition of celebrating Memorial Day begin? Who were the first to do it and why is that still a moot point after all of these years? Read on to learn more about this important American holiday tradition.
Mother’s Day: Why Is It So?
by Marjorie Dorfman
When did Mother's day become a national holiday? Do we really appreciate the women who brought all of us into the world? Read on for the truth as viewed by a humble opinion.
St. Patrick’s Day: Where Are Those Leprechauns When You Really Need Them?
by Marjorie Dorfman
Why do we celebrate St. Patrick's Day and what does the color green have to do with it? Learn all about this fascinating tradition, even if you don't like the color green.
 Happy New Year: Chinese and Otherwise!
by Marjorie Dorfman
Do other cultures celebrate the new year differently or are we all more similar than we think? Read on and learn about some interesting holiday traditions, even if you don't feel like celebrating anything at all.
See the Archive of all Festive Features
|
Humorous News items  from around the World
TWO DOGS GET MARRIED!
Clinton, Michigan (Detroit Free Press)
Two dogs have got married in front of 70 guests in a £700 ceremony in the US.
Two-year-old Bobby married Gracie, who's three, in their hometown of Clinton Township, Michigan, reports the Detroit Free Press.
Susan Laurer, 79, the owner of the groom, gave Bobby away to Gracie's owners, neighbours Frank and Cyndi Parise.
She said: "Bobby loved Gracie at first sight. Now they play together, walk together and fight together."
Bobby wore a top hat, black tuxedo and red bowtie, while Gracie, her nails painted pink, sauntered down the aisle in a puffy white gown.
"We are gathered here today," said Pastor Joseph DeRose of Evangel Christian Church in Roseville, "to celebrate the joining of the paws of Bobbie and Gracie on this beautiful Sunday."
After some brief remarks, DeRose announced: "Now I introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Bobby and Gracie Laurer."
During the reception that followed, the newlyweds dug into a two-tiered, bone-shaped cake with a pink heart in the centre.
Check the archive of past Humorous News items.
|
Eavesdroppings, or  "Did you hear that?"
Questions put to a park ranger at Carlsbad Caverns National Park:
"How much of the cave is underground?"
"So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?"
"Does it ever rain in here?"
"So what is this . . . just a hole in the ground?"
And at the Everglades National Park, a ranger was asked:
"Are the baby alligators for sale?"
"Where are the rides?"
Check the archive of past Eavesdroppings.
|
 
HEADLINERS
Girlie Mags Must Stay Abreast of the Net
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
Infertility Unlikely To Be Passed On
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Ten Years
Lack of Brains Hinders Research
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy
Check the archive of past headlines
|
|
|
|
Take a look at this great collection of refrigerator magnets!!
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
Now this is a puzzle, along with these other
Imponderables.
And here's hilarious set of responses attributed to kids in 6th grade history.
There's just no better source than this for clip art:
And you can sign up for as little as a week!
This is just the most wonderful source . . .
. . . for toys, gifts and hobby stuff.
Please visit a sponsor:
You can help us to survive and continue to bring you more great stuff!
Find all your Gifts $10 & under at eBay's Half.com
You don't want to miss this great collection of funny and beautiful art prints and posters.
Click HERE for the show!
and you'll be doing yourself a favor if you browse the work of
Ashleigh Brilliant
|
|
